Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pregnancy "Perks"...part 2

Why should you read this?

Because it will make you laugh. At least once. Promise.

"Perk" #1 - You get to learn why underwear are so important.

 My primary annoyance with pregnancy is this... 

my pants and my underwear are constantly at war with one another. 

Seriously. One wants to climb up and the other wants to slide down...always. And to mix it up - they take turns on which one does what. There really is no polite way to reach down your backside - hoping to find your underwear - and then situate everything back in its correct place again. It drives me so crazy I've contemplated going commando. But then I sneeze. Or cough. Or bend over. And it is made crystal clear why, exactly, underwear are so important.

Perk #2 - You get your hair changed up for free!
Well, free if you don't consider that your hairstylist will depend on you for food, clothing, shelter, training, chauffeuring, laundering, hygiene, and tuition.  For AT LEAST 18 years. But pregnancy really DOES whack your hair out! At least it does mine! I have an entire section of my hair that is now stick straight courtesy of Boy Bean. It is an adventure..I never know what type of hair I'll have to match my ginormous belly.

Perk #3 - You get to learn Yoga.
I guess you technically don't have to learn yoga....but I can't think of anything else that will provide you with enough different stretches to help you get comfortable in the middle of the night. It works for me!

Perk #4 - You get to learn how to walk with random parts of your body falling numb at a moments notice.
This Boy Bean of mine likes to sit on my sciatic nerve...which would be no big deal - except that it causes my legs to randomly go numb. A little side effect they don't really tell you about.

Perk #5 - You get to lose your mind...and it is perfectly normal. 
You can't remember where you left your keys, your purse, your sunglasses, your kids keys.You walk into rooms and have no idea why you are there. (The only room I'm always sure of what to do in is the bathroom. Half the time I'm not even sure I need to go...but since I'm there...) You can't remember ANYTHING. Pregnancy is a really good time to watch movies...because you will not remember seeing them, have no recollection of the plot, and can watch them again at a later-non-pregnant date for the "first" time.

I know there are other perks....but I really can't remember any right now...what was I doing again?

Copyright 2010


  1. you are so funny! This is all TRUE. Just in case there were any doubters out there...

  2. yes...super true!! and if you get your book deal and make enough extra, would you just pass on enough for my lasik and electrolysis? :) what a dream!! :)

    Mel :)

  3. Darla - thanks for proving me right. (What person doesn't like that???) :)
    Mel - i'd be happy to share with you...but I'm so blind and hairy, it would have to be quite a large sum to have any left over!! :)

  4. Oh Whitney, Whitney, Whitney......thank goodness I can count on you for a much needed laugh when I need it most!!!!!! But gosh, you are starting to sound OLD!! I'm so glad you do remember what you went into the bathroom for!!!! Love ya!!

  5. Technically, I don't always remember....i just assume that since I'm in there - I may as well try to go!


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!