I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was signing on for.
How could I possibly have known the way my life would never be the same when I became his Mrs.? That adventure doesn't always come in amazing trips (although we have had those), fantastic excursions, or exploring of worlds unknown?
Adventure can come in the form of a move, a baby (or 4!), a broken-down car, a perceived burglar, a missed flight, pneumonia, morning sickness, parenthood, friendship...LIFE.
How could I know this man whom I yearned to be with every moment of every day would be more than my Knight in Shining Armor....he would become my best friend. He would encourage me and challenge me. He would love me always and seek to protect me.
How could I know in that moment how closely deep, heart-rending pain and fierce, passionate love are connected?
Did he know those things?
Did he know all the levels of commitment we were agreeing to?
Sounds so much easier when all you see are the Mr. Wonderful and Mrs. Amazing in front of you. But in real life....it is hard. Marriage is work. But worth every second.
If the vows read were more real....more actual life....would we still agree to them?
I promise to Love you - to wash your dirty clothes, to make the bed, to cook the food, to wipe snotty noses, to care for our home while you are far away, to listen to what you have to say...if I feel like it or not. His version: to hold your hair back during morning sickness, to rub your feet when you can't see them anymore, to provide for you, to move the furniture...again, to pay attention to paint swatches, to listen to what you have to say...whether I feel like it or not.
I promise to Honor you - to take care to not "let myself go" and take the time to be presentable; to say kind things about you - and TO you, to not talk behind your back, to speak well of you to our children, our friends, our acquaintances...no matter what. His version: to take care to not "let myself go" and take the time to be presentable; to keep my eyes for only you - no matter the distance; to say kind things about you - and TO you, to not talk behind your back, to speak well of you to our children, our friends, our acquaintances...no matter what.
I promise to Respect you - to value you opinion, to seek your advice, to heed what you say, to back you up in front of others...and behind closed doors...even if I don't understand. His version: to value your opinion, to not speak in a snide manner, to not belittle you...even if it would be easy to do so.
I promise to stay with you Always - to move wherever, whenever, every time; to choose you - over career, over children, over other family or friends...regardless of financial security, because you are the one for me. For Always.
At our wedding two pieces of literature were recited - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.And William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 -
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Would I agree to those conditions now??
Yes. Because every single time - I would choose My Love again.
|He's gonna love this picture.|
This road has not been smooth...or easy...but it has been ours.
And there is noone else for me to adventure with.
Probably gonna have to post another one reminiscing this week...this is too long already!