Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Riddle....

Here's a riddle for you:

How do you know you have 3 children 5 and under, are in your 3rd trimester with #4, have a deployed husband, and have only dreamt about sleeping through the night when walking into walls due to sleep deprivation?

You flood the Laundry room. 


Yesterday was a day for irony....but you need some back story....earlier I had gotten off the phone with my oh-so-totally-awesome-sister-in-law after we had both come to the conclusion we hate poop. Therefore, we are both foregoing the eco-friendly cloth diapers, in favor of the very-little-touching-of-poop disposable diapers. (This is actually relevant...stay with me.) 

AS SOON AS I hung up the phone, Jumping Bean came to me with this oops-I-pooped-my-pants-look on her face....and said, "Mommy! I tooted and POOP came out!!

Never a sentence you want to hear. Or say. Or experience. 

Anyway, I jumped up, and quickly we went to the bathroom...she was sobbing....I felt like crying...it was not a pretty sight. As she stood in the bathroom snotting all over the place, I took her dress off, and started pulling her panties down. Unfortunately, Jumping Bean freaked out over the poop sliding down her leg. So, she kicked her foot. And the large mass flopped onto the bathroom...rug.
Yes, I took a picture. yuk.

After physically pinning her to the toilet seat so I could wipe her bum, legs, ankles, and foot, clean...she was given a super-fast-bath.

That is mom-code for "no toys, fun, or pandemonium. Just get in. Get clean. Get out."

Later, as I was rinsing the gross off of the rug in the utility sink in our laundry room, I realized it needed to soak. So I stopped up the sink...turned on the faucet...and heard the sound of shattering glass coming from the general direction of the beans and the living room. 

I ran toward the noise and was welcomed by the sight of an overturned lamp, light bulb bits all over the carpet, and three crying beans.  I promptly took all beans upstairs away from the DANGER and we proceeded to read stories and play games...for 2 and a half hours. 

When we finally migrated back downstairs for dinner, I was greeted by the sound of splashing water coming from the laundry room.

Thank the Lord for the floor drain.

 I opened the laundry room door to find 1/4 inch of standing water covering the floor, and a veritable waterfall coming from the edge of the sink.

It was not my finest moment for my choice of words.

Once I had cleaned up the mess, and gotten food for all the beans...I realized I needed a perspective change. So we had a "Praise Dinner." All the things we said during dinner were things we are thankful for...they ranged from the everyday - Thank you for clothes - to the very strange - Thank you for toots - to the sweet - Thank you that Mommy and Daddy love each other - to the need-to-discuss-at-a-later-time - Thank you that I'm so much smarter than my sisters.

Overall, it was a very good exercise! However, I'd rather not have to repeat the day to learn the lesson!!

 Copyright 2010


  1. At the Praise Dinner, hopefully you were thankful for the FLOOR DRAIN!!! Holy Moly!!!!

  2. oh YES!!! That floor drain saved my life! The maintenance man came and checked the room out for damage today and he was thrilled to see the flooring had been laid down correctly, the drain was installed correctly, and the-little-tiny-curved-wood-thingy-at-the-bottom-of-the-baseboard was also done correctly! (You can tell I have a lot of knowledge in carpentry) Anyway, apparently they've had problems with all THREE of those - just recently someone's drain DIDN'T drain...and they had to go to a hotel during repairs!

  3. Whitney,
    You are hysterical! I love your blog! Thank you for sharing your adventures with the rest of us Moms so that we don't feel like we are the only ones who feel like we don't know what we are doing in this adventure of Motherhood!
    I am so glad you had a drain. I wish our house had a drain because I have flooded our basement twice. Once while doing laundry!
    But I want you to think about your story for a minute. You have to deal with your child's poop no matter what, and wash it out of rugs, clothing etc., so why not save money and the environment too?
    I use cloth diapers and LOVE them! They are so cute, more comfortable for your child, they allow air to circulate next to baby's skin so rashes are fewer and far between, no nasty chemicals are stuck pressed up next to your baby, you save money instead of throwing it away with each diaper change, you save more trash from littering our planet because disposables from the 70's still have not decomposed, and you keep human waste from the landfills where it doesn't belong and is illegal to dump there anyway. Just some reasons to think a little harder about that hating poop thing and using disposables. These are all reasons I switched and am so glad I did!
    Love your stories! Keep them coming! You are doing a great job as a wife and mother! I really admire your strength, determination and drive. God bless you and give you comfort and peace while parenting on your own for a while.

  4. ok sweetie pie i will just get your bum cleaned, lube it good and enjoy how tight you are, no condom baby girl you are going to feel when my cum pumps into you mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so good you will be back for more real soon


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!