I haven't really had time. Or energy.
I looked at my calendar and wrote down when I could have my breakdown about My Love leaving, and String Bean starting school...Sunday night from 9:00-11:00pm, you'll know where to find me.
Yep. I schedule my breakdowns. It actually is a bit of a relief. I know I only have to hold it together...keep most of the tears and freakout moments in check for a few days...and then I can rent that chick flick and sob to my heart's content. Don't really know if it is a healthy way to do things or not; but its my way, and it works. (Don't worry - I do cry in front of the beans....I just try not to do the snot-running-down-your-face-lost-all-control-cry in front of them. That would freak them out.)
So I've learned that if I set a particular standing date with myself to lose it...I stay waaaaay more sane. Supposedly. Maybe not. But it makes me feel better - and you should stop judging me.
My day yesterday was actually REALLY, REALLY, great. However, I would like you to note I didn't say "Smooth," or "Restful." In fact, it had numerous bumps and bruises....and minimal sleep.
After dropping My Love off, spending quality time crying with the beans, driving home, unloading all beans, tucking them to bed, comforting them again, putting away all things that somehow jump out of place, and finally collapsing into bed (glorious BED!), I fell asleep. At 12:30. Alarm was set to go for 6:00...not a ton of sleep, but definitely workable. (I've found I can run on 5 hours a night for 5 nights...then I need to recover and get 7 or 8 hours) The theory of sleep is always good....but for a Mama of almost 4...it is most often just an idea, and not an actuality. Chilly Bean decided to wake up SEVEN TIMES between 1 and 5. And Boy Bean decided to jump on my bladder - hard - so I also had to wake up one time for my own reasons.
All of you people in the world out there who are sleeping through the night...and maybe even sleeping in on Saturdays....I hate you. Not really. But sometimes I am exceedingly jealous.
My Jumping Bean falls, and walks into walls, and trips, and bumps into things, constantly. Really. WALLS. (Its not like they move....I don't really get it.)
But when she is distracted - the poor thing should be wrapped in bubble wrap. Unfortunately, today she was distracted.
In the span of TEN MINUTES she tripped and smacked her head on the corner of a wall, (Immediate bruising and egg-size-swollen-knot on her forehead) and then twirled and cut her knee, and then closed her fingers in a drawer.
For the record - she is not known for her quiet spirit. There was much yelling. And snot. (I really detest snot. It is just utterly gross...and always on my shoulder.)
Anyway, during all of this..the phone rang...Chilly Bean pooped...String Bean went on a hunger strike (again)...and we all needed shoes on to get out the door in time.
We were late.
And that, is a REALLY, REALLY, great day.