Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Only Love

So, you know the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?"  Well, I've been contemplating that lately. Deployment can bring out my pensive side....but don't worry, this post shouldn't make you cry!

What is it about being apart that makes you like each other more?  Is it that you realize all the good and marvelous things you love about that person and are able to forget the not-so-great?  Yep. I think so.

For some reason (and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this!) I can have trouble flipping the "mom" switch off, and the "wife" switch on. I'm not talking about just the what's-his-head-on-the-radio singing "Lets get it on" - I'm talking about just remembering to speak to my husband in a loving way that isn't child-related.  (I.e. - FLIRT)

Really, how hard is it to flirt with the Love of your life? Apparently for me, super hard. When My Love is home, it is so very easy for me to rely on his extra set of hands (or eyes), his energy in exhausting the beans, his willingness to help....only.
Instead of dropping whatever it is I am doing and welcoming him home after work (which Bitty Bean does with gusto!), I continue on in my task, or look at the clock wondering why he is so much later than anticipated.

There are about a million songs out there about a husband/man staying true to his wife/woman, but how many are there going the other way? How many times does the man I promised to honor, respect, and love for the rest of my life, get relegated to second (or third, or fourth) place - especially once kids came along? 

Granted, in the daily craziness of puke, poop, laundry, dishes, snot, drool, crying, whining, spills, messes, questions, questions, and pee is VERY hard to forget who I once was. But once upon a time, (not THAT long ago!) I was a woman who desperately just wanted to be near the man that is now my husband.  I wanted to just know....everything....about him. He was truly my prince.  And I was his princess. He hasn't changed....neither have I....we've just forgotten who we were.

As Edna Mode says in "The Incredibles" to Elasti-girl (after she queries "What will I do?" regarding Mr. Incredible not being where he said he would be.)
"Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!" 

There is a gift in these least for us.  It is a time to pause and remember exactly what it was we initially adored about each other.  That lightening strike that we couldn't avoid.  Wouldn't want to avoid if given the choice!  So, who am I?  Well, that I am trying to remember.....

Sometimes it is exceptionally hard to "get the flirt on" when he walks through the door 30 minutes late,  and 3 children are crying, the pot of water is boiling over, the laundry needs to be changed, my hair is all crazy, I haven't showered yet...or even brushed my teeth, and the last time I slept through the night was about 5 years ago.

But if I can flirt with him half a world away....shouldn't I be able to do it when he is sitting next to me on the couch???  Well, when he gets home again - I am gonna try!

(At least I have a couple of months to remember how to flirt....Doesn't it have something to do with batting your eyes, or doing something with your hips? Maybe it is a hair-flip thing. Or the "Bend and Snap" from Legally Blonde. Oh, I don't know...maybe I can't remember how because I'm so bad at it! )

Copyright 2010


  1. I love this post Whitney! The bend and snap has me cracking up! haha But, you are so right. When we had the twins I found that sometimes I talked to John in the same tone of voice I talked to them... and they were 2! After a few *looks* from John I started to realize what I was doing. It is really hard to take the mom hat off at the end of the day!

    You guys are such a wonderful couple, though, and I have no doubt you are better at flirting than you think you are! ;)

  2. the route I take to the flirt is school session! I love it. It is so much harder to deal with the children being in school than having them at home. Packing the lunches the night before and finding ways to pack in advance. Preparing clothes for each child for the next day and the endless homework,on top of all the other house duties. This is where I step into place with my flirting and husband. Children have a curfew for the bed by 7:30pm (except for Awana night) this allots for the flirtation to begin with my husband. We need that time with our spouses and they need it too. Loved this post! I haven't mastered the switch when the children are awake. I think that's going to take some time. have to run screaming child....

  3. I seriously don't think I ever knew how to flirt... I'm not quite sure how I was able to snag Andrew, but I'm sure glad I did!! Or that at least he was able to fall in love with me despite my lack of flirting :o)

    - Kate


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!