Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Joy and Pain of Motherhood...part 1

As I was talking with a friend today, I realized something; motherhood is hard.  It seems it is not hard for a great many people...but I'm pretty convinced they are ALL lying.  I'm sure to those of you not in the trenches of spit-up-no-sleep-poop-everywhere-constant-laundry-whining-battles-and-attitudes it seems exceptionally glamorous (fun even!), but, and listen carefully....it is NOT Glamorous. Or Easy. (It can be fun - and is highly rewarding - but can exhaust you to the core of your being.)

In an effort to dispel some myths....I am offering my mothering life as an example of what Motherhood REALLY looks like.

Motherhood is serious bags under your eyes...from lack of sleep, from no time to eat, from worry about why your child/ren is/are doing....whatever.  

 Motherhood is very stylish....if you enjoy modeling various parts of all food consumed by your natives on your shoulder, stomach, and legs.

Motherhood is just flat out hard.  (Made harder by all those so-called perfect Moms)  I've said this before - it is watching your heart walk around outside your body.  It is watching tears be cried by an infant that you can't soothe.  It is wanting to protect your natives from harm...but knowing they will get hurt and battered and bruised, no matter what you do.  It is constant self-sacrifice.  It is humbling. It is challenging. It is utterly exhausting and completely rewarding.

Motherhood is constant second-guessing of your decisions. Its wondering if you are putting your child in life-long therapy because of anything and everything you've decided. (We figured our children would end up in therapy no matter what...they are OUR children....so we just gave them weird names to hate us for. Problem solved. Now I can screw up all I want!) 

Motherhood is fragments of sentences...it is losing your memory...it is ...something else, but I'm not sure what.

Motherhood is dishes and laundry and dishes and food prep and laundry and dishes and cleaning up and washing hands and messes and laundry and dishes.

Motherhood is MESSY.  (More on the most recent poop explosion another day.)

Motherhood is embarrassing...I highly recommend good locks on the master bedroom door...and they should be used. 

Motherhood is expensive. These little creatures that follow me around grow like, well, beans! Except these beans have to have clothes on them. They are rarely the same size for more than 3 months.

Motherhood is a great many other things...but I can't remember them right now.

I am FAR from a perfect mom - I'm too lazy for pretense. 

But if I could choose any reason in the world to be broke and exhausted - I would still choose my 4 beans. 
(Except in the moments when all 3 beans are crying/snotting/yelling/pitching a fit.....then I want to sell them on EBay.) 

Here the current beans (out of the pod) are...sleeping.  (And I've just decided to change Chilly Bean's name...she is now Bitty Bean because she is so itty-bitty!)
String Bean
Jumping Bean
Bitty Bean
Copyright 2010


  1. The pictures are PRICELESS!!! I'm exhausted after reading your post. But it is true! and I only had one! Your blessings will reward you ten times over as they grow way to fast! The song that I can't remember exactly...."turn around and you're one, turn around and you're four, turn around and you're a young man going out of the door"....still brings me to tears every time. It all went by waaaaayyy to fast!

  2. AMEN! I remember when Josiah was little and cried and cried that I was going to lose my mind. Not to mention I felt like a horrible mother because you NEVER hear that babies cry...well mine did and I am sure others do too! Thanks for always putting the jumbled ramblings in my heard so nicely formulated into a entertaining yet thought provoking blog post :) Hope all is well and you get some "me" time as your beans sleep (hopefully through the night).

  3. I will have to print this out when Tucker comes home to remind me that I am not alone! I could have used this post when we had the twins!! haha

    The sleeping pictures are just precious! :)

  4. Whitney, I just loved this post! I can totally relate to what you said... " It is wanting to protect your natives from harm...but knowing they will get hurt and battered and bruised, no matter what you do." I so want to protect Billy as he goes out into the world as a young adult. I am scared for him. I know he will be ok but there is something about letting him go that I never realized until now (that it's actually happening). Most of these emotions don't go away when they grow out of diapers, can wipe their own snot, feed themselves, etc. We are forever their moms. What a blessing! And, Oh how much we need the LORD. ♥Gina

  5. Ali - thank you for your encouragement!! Yes, MANY babies cry. ALOT!! (Good suggestion regarding our battles with a colicky jumping bean!) :)
    Lauren - when tucker comes home, I'll be happy to be by your side crying with you in the numerous moments of being overwhelmed. :)
    Gina - I can't imagine how hard the letting go process is. I will be praying for you and your family as you adjust to the new normal.

  6. You are absolutely right! I think motherhood in all of it's troubles and hardest job I have ever had is so worth it. Your blog gave me goose bumps. Love you Whit!


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!