How to Look Good...

....Well, at least My tips for lookin' good with an infant-toddler-preschooler-kindergartener underfoot or in your arms.

Feel free to adjust the number/ages of children to apply to your life.

First of all, I'm not claiming I look good....all the time...or ever. These are just the things I do that make me feel like I'm lookin' good. Take it with a grain of salt. Or a piece of chocolate cake.

Actually, you have my permission to always take what I say with a piece of chocolate cake.

You're welcome.

On to this oh-so-not-important list.....

Sling courtesy of The Industrial Cottage

1. Wear your baby. Have you noticed where slings and baby packs sit? Directly over your tummy! Which is really lucky for me, because it completely covers my love-pot. In my opinion, that makes them a very slimming item. If you are not like me, and tote your baby weight in other regions of your body - Don't fret! People will be so enamored with your adorable bean in it's pod...they won't even notice your cinnamon buns. Promise.

2. Dress your kids cute. Again, utilize the distraction factor. If your kids look cute, people will be soo enamored with their utter adorableness...which, in my case, typically involves tutus, tiaras, pig tails, and necklaces.....they won't notice the fact that I haven't slept in about 5 years. And that brings me to item #3...

3. Use under eye concealer and an eyelash curler. My two good friends. Especially since random strangers like to comment on how exhausted I look. The concealer is a miracle worker in hiding the bags under my eyes...and the eyelash curler allows my eyes to appear fully open.....even when they are half-closed.

THIS is what happens when a 5 year old is your photographer....

AND THIS is what happens when it is a 3 year old.

4. Get dressed. You don't need to wear designer anything....but just try and make an effort to get out of your pajamas. Even if you are just changing into "work-out clothes." I say "work out clothes" with quotes around it, primarily because they are currently my "clean-the-house-clothes"...but don't tell anyone....because right now I am spending as much time cleaning house as I am working out. Which is barely above none.

Hey! Don't look down on me....my days are spent sustaining human life...what did YOU do today???

Painting nails at Christmas....putting the belly to good use!

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5. Wear something cute and unexpected. I normally try for a fun hair thing....a scarf...a necklace....or earrings. But some days the only thing cute I'm wearing is my baby (see #1); and the only thing unexpected is the snot-spit-up-puke-poop-pee somewhere on my body or clothes. Which brings me to item #6.....

6. Shower - or at least splash water on your face - every day. Trust me. It doesn't matter that you take a military-esque shower....it will make you feel better. It also doesn't matter if you are showering purely to remove your  "unexpected" accessory from your hair-face-body....just do it. And it helps you peel your eyelids up after not sleeping for months on end.

7. Smile. Because no matter how exhausted-dirty-flabby you are (Or feel!), this phase is just that - a phase. It will pass. And once it's over you will look back and remember the insanity of these moments fondly. You will look at mamas in this phase with nostalgia and a psychotic pull to return there...until you realize you have actually slept through the night more than once in the past year. Without medication.

You will smile an encouraging smile...then hand them a wet wipe to remove the snot from their shoulder.

Copyright 2011