Did I mention how utterly delicious a newborn smells? Like sweet cream, and sugar. Totally beats the new car smell.
Yep. Life with a newborn is fantastic. Except when it's not. I don't really know why so very little is said about the not-so-awesome-side of newborn/infant life. I feel like there is an unspoken code that we are not supposed to speak about the rough spots.
Well, I used to be a really good rule follower....but I also really like to talk. And talking normally wins. So I'm gonna fill that void of information.
Let me first clearly state -
I am not struggling with post-partum depression this time around. Yippee!
However, I am struggling with aspects of life because of Boy Bean.
I had become quite accustomed to having time to myself at night. I would get the girl beans to bed and then I would clean up the kitchen and then park my behind and fold laundry and watch whatever show I felt like, or blog, or just do whatever I wanted.
That ship has sailed for the next few months.
I knew this was coming....this is not my first rodeo. But the arrival of Boy Bean coupled with the return of My Love - two wonderful things!! - definitely sucked all alone time right out of my day. And night. I love nursing my Boy Bean...but I struggle with sitting so much and not being able to do more than one-finger type out something on the computer. I am ecstatic to have My Love home - but I had gotten used to my routine of snack/blog/Biggest Loser/Sudoku/craft time at night.
I just re-read that list...how old am I????
It is wonderful to have the men in my life around....but this girl has to recalibrate her schedule and life to make it all work smoothly again. And - like usual - it means getting rid of my-naturally-selfish habits.
I love that my night-time hours are spent hanging out with My Love and yammering about all sorts of silly and important things. But there are times I miss being sole holder of the remote ...so to speak. I love snuggling my Boy Bean and breathing in his newness and learning his quirks...but I miss the moments where I could just sit down because I felt like it and do what I wanted with my time.
I know these early months are fleeting and soon I'll be missing the middle-of-the-night cuddles and throughout-the-day feedings....but in the moment it seems a bit long.
In trying to treasure the moments with My Love and my Beans - I am trying to also keep the right perspective.
Because, really, while being without them allows me to freely indulge my selfish desires....that isn't what its all about, is it?