Cocoa Bean Moment....

Although it has been a WHILE since I posted one of these....it has not been due to lack of material!

It has primarily been due to lack of sleep, time, and free hands.

But a moment happened yesterday that I just HAD to make time to document.  (Lucky you!)

Bit of a backstory needed....as usual.

I've been trying desperately to instill in my girls where beauty actually lies. 

You can look in the mirror and see "pretty," but that doesn't make you beautiful. 

Beauty is who you are, not what you look like. 

You are beautiful if you are kind, unselfish, loving, peaceful, obedient, compassionate, giving, trustworthy....well, you get the idea. 

Basically, if you are fruity - you are beautiful!

I've been hoping this is sinking in....

especially since these girls are a lot like their mother parents, and mildly narcissistic.

Back to yesterday - Bitty Bean had a toy that Jumping Bean REALLY, REALLY, wanted.
Bitty Bean voluntarily gave up the toy and was happy to share it with her Sissy.
As soon as the hand off was made, Jumping Bean said,
"Oh Sister!  You are sooo BEA-U-TI-FUL because you shared!"

As I basked in the moment of a lesson sinking in, String Bean (who had been observing the exchange) decided to comment on the episode:
"Well, you would have been MORE beautiful...if you had given it to me."

And I laughed. Really, really, hard.

So the lessons are still in progress.......but the moment was still sweet.

~Whitney


Copyright 2011

It's time....

So, I knew this day was coming.

Every beginning has an end.

But, even though I was eagerly anticipating the end....I was also anxiously awaiting the final moment.

That moment when your life changes forever is sometimes loud and obvious 

(Like a move, or a death, or a huge decision)

...and sometimes it is quiet and barely noticeable 

(Like walking by a guy in an country line dance club, or a surprise plus sign, or 

landing on a church via the internet because it starts with "A")

She is NOT covered in blood - it is the Christmas Oreo filling.

I would have never thought 3 years and 2 months ago (October, 2008), a phase was beginning and would last until now. I didn't think I was starting a bootcamp phase of change.

But it did.  And I was.

What happened way back then? What is ending now?

Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.

Yes, I was pregnant with String Bean in 2005, and Jumping bean in 2007; but I breastfed them for one month and two months (Respectively), so I had breaks in between of not sustaining life.

When I found out I was pregnant with Bitty Bean....on October 31st, 2008....just before I went out with friends as Sarah Palin....it started a 38-month-long period of pregnancy/breastfeeding/breastfeeding pregnant/pregnancy/breastfeeding.

And it just ended. 

December 6th was not a remarkable day; except that was the day Boy Bean didn't nurse.  And hasn't nursed since then. It was so unremarkable - so quiet of an exit - I almost didn't notice. It has taken me a week to just have time to process the final end of this phase.

This place where I was physically made aware of my selfishness and my challenge at putting others before myself.

I never thought I would breastfeed for a whole year (Add that to the list!) - but I am so glad I did. Now, as I'm packing up my nursing cover, nursing tanks, and breast pads, it seems almost surreal.

My little beans are growing up.

Maybe, just maybe, so am I.

~Whitney
Ps. Extended thoughts on breastfeeding/personal anecdotes may just need to find an outlet on this blog.

Copyright 2011

Commissary Day....

So, it has been a bit since I posted about a Commissary trip. The last post-worthy trip really was something that nightmares are made of.

Today was not like that day.

Hallelujah!

The children were excellent! Really. 

I looked like a parenting rock-star.

I, however, wanted to behave like a little brat complete with a kicking and screaming tantrum.

What, you ask, could motivate me to feel that way???

Car carts.

Or lack thereof.

Let me explain: car carts (carts where you can contain 2 small children while still having space for your groceries)  are absolutely AH-MAZE-ING.  They make the commissary a total blast for my children. Bitty Bean gets to be in charge of Boy Bean and share her free cookie with him; they both get to drive, honk the horn, and see all the action of where we are going. Jumping Bean and String Bean get to alternate turns placing items in the cart with twirling in the aisle.

And all is well in the world.

EXCEPT.

Except when there are NO car carts available.

Which is bound to happen sometimes because there are only 7 for the entire store. 

Now, I really am fairly understanding about there not being car carts - sometimes it is the minivan brigade in the parking lot (which now includes MY Swagger Wagon!!! Woohoo!) so I am prepared there might not be a cart available.

But here's my beef.....be warned: I am about to RANT.

(I apologize in advance for offending you)

When I walk through the commissary with my 11 month old son in the regular cart, my 2 1/2 year old, 4 year old, and 6 year old daughters walking behind and around me - and see someone using a car cart for their ONE child; I get annoyed. 

I'm not really annoyed if the child is fairly young.


BUT if your child is so old they can barely fit in the car cart - I'm going to be ticked.

And I get extremely close to irationally-eye-twitching-mad when I see your ONE child....who looks close to 8 years old....PUSHING the EMPTY car cart.

It is purely because I am trying to set an example of how to behave in polite society that I don't go all crazy-mama on them and chuck a box of diapers at the adult's head.

I don't understand this thought process. It is totally fine if you have one child - I don't think everyone needs a tribe. BUT I do think you should be considerate of other people. And taking something you don't need, just to placate a child, helps no one.

The child learns selfishness and greed because they want something - so they should get it.

The parent is not wanting to tell their child no - which is absolutely terrible for all parties involved.

And there is someone coming soon behind them who actually NEEDS that cart - and can't use it and now has a much more challenging trip ahead of them.

Seriously people.

So, today, as I encountered 5 of 7 car carts loaded with one child (all at least 4 years old), and the other 2 of them being pushed by a child older than String Bean.....

I was able to address the importance of being considerate. 

Of thinking of others. 

Of not taking something you don't need, just because it is there - or free. 

Of realizing that sometimes your fun time can ruin the chance someone else has of having a need met.

That is what is wrong with this country, isn't it? 

Everybody wants what they want because they want it - without regard for others, without caring about the ramifications of selfish decisions - because the all important "I" is number one.

To that I say: Maybe you should think twice the next time you want to OCCUPY a car cart.

Some sleep-deprived mama of four might just go all crazy on you.

~Whitney

Copyright 2011

A First....

Well, it happened.

I mean, we ALL knew this day was coming....I had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

No.

I am NOT pregnant.

I have, however, completely lost my mind.

Proof?

(Unfortunately there are no pictures - which really is quite sad once you visualize the following)

Apparently, I'm really, really, tired. 

Although, somehow I'm not tired enough to NOT write this down....hmmmm

So tired in fact, that when I was unloading the dryer at 7:30 this evening -

after decorating for Christmas, cleaning up some of that disaster, teaching school, 

dealing with obscene amounts of poop, over seeing piano practice x2, making sure all people ate today, 

reading bedtime stories, kissing and tucking in 4 little beans 

- after all of THAT....I knelt down to reach all the way into the back of the dryer, pulled out My Love's paintball pants, inhaled the Tide/Bounce combo deeply, and laid my head on the load of laundry in the basket.

And fell asleep.


For 20 minutes.

The ONLY difference between me and the woman pictured (other than stretch marks, dark circles under my eyes, non-gleaming floors, and my workout apparel for today consisting of a UCONN t-shirt and black capri sweats) was that my head was cushioned by a warm towel and a pair of gray Columbia pants.

Seriously.

How I wish My Love had walked in on that scene!

Perhaps I am extra tired because Boy Bean has been fighting an illness for a bit so sleep has been rather sketchy....

Maybe it is because that is just how you feel in this phase of life....

Or maybe, just maybe, I needed to nap on the laundry to be reminded to keep a Bounce in my step and to roll with the Tide. 

(hehe)

That's laundry humor for you.

Stay clean people.

~Whitney

Copyright 2011

A Study in Stupidity....

So, for some reason, I had not thought having 4 kids five and under would be that hard.

One kid isn't that hard - how much worse can 4 be?

I mean, I had seen parents with 4 young children rush by me in a harried-sleep-deprived-daze dashing off to help the poop-explosion-melt-down-nursing needs of a child. 

I had even wondered why they were so harried-sleep-deprived.  

Oh the naivete of pride and youth.

I guess 4 little people isn't that hard if you've actually slept through the night once a year.  But I wouldn't know about that.

I must have the kind of face that says 
"Please, please comment on everything about my life and tell me why I'm doing it wrong." 
Lucky me. 

I've been reminded recently - by numerous random strangers - that I MUST be crazy to have SO MANY children and be a mama-who-doesn't-work-for-financial-pay. 

I get paid - very well - just not in anything that I can contribute to a retirement fund. Unless you count - hopefully - raising kids that like you enough to take care of you when you are old. 

Apparently, mild-insanity runs in my family. 

My paternal Grandmother - who was a brilliant, genius of a woman - was crazy enough to have 4 children in 4 years.

Actually, her oldest TURNED 4, THREE days AFTER #4 - my dad - was born.

While married to the Air Force. 

And moved twice during the SAME period. One move from Arizona to Idaho after Baby #2, and one between Babies #3 and #4.   

According to family lore, she resorted to creating an intriguing tonic labeled "Tiger's Milk" which helped her handle the crazy her beans shelled out. 

My maternal Grandmother - who was also a brilliant woman - was crazy enough to have 4 children in 4 1/2 years. 

While married to the Merchant Marines.

Perhaps insanity skips a generation. Because none of their children attempted to pull off a repeat. For the record, we really weren't seeking to repeat anybody's anything. We just.....well, this really isn't the place to explain all that.

Or maybe I just am the wrong fit for this generation. 

Who knows.

Unfortunately, I'm a slow learner.

A really, REALLY slow learner.

So, I am now walking in the shoes of those people I used to look down on from my high horse.  And while the walk is challenging, it is exhaustingly wonderful.

As I face the future with our Beans, I'm trying desperately to judge less, and understand more. 

So if you see me with my hair shoved in a hat, wearing the same clothes as the last time we saw each other,  rushing by you clutching one to three children in various awkward positions, with a diaper bag flying behind me.....

Feel free to point and laugh.

Because, apparently, the more I rail against it - 

the more likely it will become one of my life experiences.

~Whitney

Copyright 2011

Bandwagon time.....

Sometimes, this girl (who likes to think she is unique) finds a bandwagon that is so good - so fantastic - she just has to jump on.

Which is really hard to do, because this white girl really doesn't jump.

But this idea of talking about what you are thankful for in light of Thanksgiving Day....is a really, really, good one.

So, in a nutshell, here is what I'm thankful for:  Rarely getting what I want.

Yep.

This is why:

If I had gotten what I wanted for my life......
I wouldn't have married My Love, because the military was not for me.
I wouldn't have four children by the time I was 29, because I wanted longer "couple" time with My Love.
I wouldn't be in the church I'm in, because I didn't want to live on the East Coast.
I wouldn't have been present at the birth of my nephew, because I wanted to move to Japan.

(And this is just the short list!)

There is a bit of a trend....can you spot it?

Basically,  the Author of my story likes me to trust Him.

A LOT.

I'm very thankful for how patiently He teaches me to trust Him, to not worry,  

and to check my perspective.

Regarding perspective, my crew has been sick for quite a few days now...which means I'm not really sleeping, Boy Bean is only happy if he is cuddling me, Bitty Bean has an obscene case of whining, and Jumping Bean and String Bean are emotional volcanoes.

Good times people, good times.

Here were thoughts at the end of a day when someone was crying for NINE STRAIGHT HOURS.....
(This is loosely based on a song from the 70's? 60's? I don't really know)

I love little noisy tots

Carpets full of spots

Messy.....everything

And laundry

I love unexpected hugs

Gifts that are bugs

Clothing being tugged

And kisses

And I love you too

I love never having silence

Knowing every prince

Songs from the potty

And fingerprints

I love kissing away tears,

Praying you through fears,

Turned "on" listening ears,

And Oxiclean

And I love you too!

I love early morning cuddles

Joy at rainy puddles

Wobbly toddles

And sound machines

I love riotous laughs,

Yummy smells after bath, 

Having fun with math!

And my dishwasher

And I love you too!

What things are you thankful for? What things to you have to turn around for perspective to BE thankful for?

~ Whitney

Copyright 2011

What I really want.....

Once upon a time....

back long ago in BC.... (before children)....

I worked.

For pay.

I used to say I was a working woman...but apparently that has some unsavory connotations

Because I worked during the day, I was unable to attend the Ladies Bible Study held at my church many of the younger women attended.
Thankfully, there was an evening Ladies Bible study group that met on Thursday evenings - but all of the women were closer to the age of my mom, than to me.

Did I mention my husband was deployed all the time? 

He was home so rarely I garnered raised eyebrows whenever I sat next to him in church!

So, because he was gone all the time, my nights were pretty kinda really lonely.  I wanted to be involved in a Bible study, but I also just didn't want to be home alone every night of the week.

And you know what? That Bible study - that group of women - impacted my life greatly. I was challenged to be a faithful daughter of God, a dependable wife, a woman who sought to live a life of thanksgiving - regardless of my situation.

It is amazing the perspective I gained on MY struggles when I learned about what these women - who seemed to have life "set" - had been through. My initial assumptions about them - who they were, what their lives had held,  what their lives were like presently - were completely wrong. I had assumed because they were always encouraging and kind, their lives were cake; they had not known sorrow; the future was clear to them.

Not one bit of those assumptions was accurate. 

They just knew the Peace-giver. They were well-acquainted with the Great Physician. They had walked through dark valleys - valleys darker than anything I've encountered - and God had led their every step. 

Perhaps I could have gotten all of that from a group of early-20's women who were either single or also newly-married.

But I kind of doubt it.

The kindness, humility, and steadfast faith I saw modeled by each of those women is rarely found in people who have not seen God's grace through great adversity.

Young women would have shown me I wasn't alone in my struggles.

But the women in that group showed me struggle is not unique to an age or phase of life - that God would get me through whatever He placed in my path, and that commiserating is rarely a wise decision.

What a blessing it was  that my husband was on an oft-deployed ship...

that I worked when I didn't know many other young-married-women doing the same....

because sometimes the very best thing for you - 

is exactly what you don't want.

~Whitney

Copyright 2011

Just like me....

Alert:  'Bout to get serious all up-in-here.

Here is ME:
Christ-follower
Wife for 8 (HOLY COW!) years
Mama to 4 children
Works round the clock for free
Haven't finished my degree in communications
Military wife
Loves to write
Love to sing
Extreme extrovert...borderline psychotic
Like to run and exercise
Finally managed to keep a plant alive for more than 2 months...THIS year


Here is my closest friend: (that's not My Love!)
Christ-follower
Wife for 8 years
Has her bachelors and masters....she's basically brilliant
Former active duty military
Possesses a green thumb to make Martha Stewart jealous
Amazing hostess

Excellent at serving others

Quiet personality


On paper, people would assume we would not be good friends.
She has seen the world....I've seen lots of labor and delivery rooms.
She is highly educated....I poorly managed my time in college.

But you know what?

Everybody would be wrong. Dead wrong. 

What this woman's perspective on God, life, homemaking, relationships, and femininity has added to my life is completely impossible to measure. 

For some reason our culture thinks we must be in the same phases...dealing with EXACTLY the same problems....with the same background....to be relevant to one another.

And that is just not true.  That is post-modern thought seeping into our relationships. The idea is that someone can't walk in my shoes - but they at least need to be wearing the same style for us to connect and bond. Heaven forbid if they purchased their shoes in a different store!

I may be mephisto sandals - but that doesn't mean I can't learn from some pointy-toe-manolo blahniks. 

Basically the point of this post is - stop judging those leopard print heels....take a second to actually try them on. You just might learn something about yourself....and make an unexpected friend along the way.

 Copyright 2011

Workin' It Out...

Soooo, you know how I ran that 1/2 marathon over Labor Day weekend?

(2 whole months ago.)

And you know how I've stated loud and clear that I love to run?

And thoroughly enjoy working out?

How I even miss it during late pregnancy and post-partum?

Well, ummmmmm.....that makes this kinda awkward.

I haven't worked out. Or run. AT ALL. Since my race.  ZERO. 

(Yeah, that was 2 whole months ago.)

And you know what? I'm okay with that.  I will get back to working out - but right now, I'm going through my expectations on myself and carefully examining them to see what is REALLY important.

Notice a lack of bloggage lately?? Yeah, well, that was on the chopping block also.

I just don't see the need to beat myself up over stuff not getting done that doesn't have to get done in the first place! 

So, I've relieved myself of the requirements of working out, blogging, and just basically working every second I'm awake. And you know what? It is totally AWESOME! Who says I need to do all the stuff I think I need to do?

I mean, really, will the world stop turning if I go to bed without wiping my counters down? 

I will be honest (that's what I do!) I have still not lost all my pregnancy weight. 

And I am sleeping just fine at night. 

Who cares if I don't look like a movie star? 

Or don't have the same body I had at 20? 

Why do I think I should look the same?! 

This body has carried and birthed 4 human beings - 4 people!!! - and has sustained life consecutively since October of 2008.
(Can you say 'Identity crisis' for whenever Boy Bean finishes nursing?! But more on that another day)

Working out and blogging will pick back up again sometime...

hopefully soon....but until then I'm giving myself a break.  

(But not with a kit-kat cuz those are gross)

Copyright 2011

Honest!

So, I could write a post about today outlining how it is only 1:15pm and

.....I already have dinner cooking in the crock pot filling the house with yummy smells....

Chicken cacciatore :)

....We only have to review our spelling words and school will be done for the day - even with some extra-fun of hunting for videos all about caves,

....all 4 children have been fed - TWICE! - and kept with clean bums!

(As in rear-ends, not a tidy person off the street)

....all beds have been made,

.....I made 2 days worth of fresh applesauce for the boy.

And, while all of the above is true...it is NOWHERE NEAR the whole story.

I haven't showered yet.

Not a single dish has been done.

(Including emptying the clean dishes from the dishwasher.)

The house is swiftly exploding on itself.

And I still need to get to the commissary.

Oh well.

Just keeping it real folks.

I hope you get your "have to's" (and even some of your "want to's") done today; but if you don't, it will be okay.

We can both rest our feet on the pile of laundry currently procreating throughout the house.....

Copyright 2011

Livin' the Life....

One month.

Goodbye hugs before we took My Love to the airport

ONE month.

That is all was - but, holy-heck-a-mama I am glad it is over!

My Love left for a school for the Navy on September 7th....and FINALLY got home LAST Friday night!! I know the world wasn't all aware that My Love was gone, but let me 'splain......

Short version: I have 4 kids (6, 4, 2, and 9 months) and I am homeschooling.

What?! Not enough information????

THIS is why I've been MIA -

~ Poop finger painting a la Bitty Bean....who knew one turd could cover a pair of legs, a blankie, a toilet seat completely, a bathroom rug, and initial the carpet??? I do now.

~ Sugar and salt explosion in my kitchen...who knew how fun it-could-be-to-throw-3-cups-of-sugar-and-the-contents-of-a-salt-shaker-in-the-air-like-confetti-all-over-the-freshly-mopped-kitchen-and-just-bathed-self?  Bitty Bean.

~ Toothpaste finger painting covering the bathroom sink....and then repeated with hand soap the next day.  Thank you Bitty Bean, now your bathroom sink is spotless and minty fresh.

~ Butt paste finger painting.....yep, Bitty Bean again. I keep this stuff waaaaaay out of reach! Still no idea how she got it...but she used it to cover her legs, arms, and two bar stools in the kitchen. She should get points for being thorough!

~ Complete reorganization of 2 drawers of clothing....Bitty Bean was placed in time out on her bed (where I thought no damage could occur! I was wrong.)  She decided to completely empty the contents of 2 drawers of their dressers! Panties, socks, tights, pants, shorts, skirts, and leggings were strewn all over the room when I finally mustered the strength (and calm) to climb the stairs and address budding artist after the poop incident. I opened the door to address one behavior, saw the mess.....and started crying. And laughing. It wasn't pretty.

Right now, I love that 2 year old with the impish grin. God knew what He was doing when He made this age so adorable!

The straight jacket is working out quite well. HA!

Copyright 2011

...And Jumping Bean Makes 4!

(Supposed to post 9/25/11....oh well.)

My Dear Jumping Bean,

Today marks 4 years of you being on this earth.

Meeting Jumping Bean

It has been but a blink. 

Just moments ago, your daddy and I were jumping up and down for joy at the plus sign on an EPT...we had no idea at the immense joy your creation would bring to our lives.

1 Week Old

I was so happy when I found out you were growing in my  belly - partially because it meant I wasn't going crazy, but mainly because I couldn't wait to see what little person you would be.

Turning 1!

Through your incubation we got a picture into who you would be.....
...we knew you would be feisty because when we touched my tummy, you would kick/punch us away.
...we knew you would be a prankster when you caused me to react to broccoli (?!) at my first ever dining out during Daddy's time in OCS, and I had to run out  - without permission - to throw up!
...we knew you would function on your own time table when I couldn't make it from the car to the doctor's office and ended up throwing up in the parking lot planter.

Turning 2

Oh my sweet girl. 

You are your own chick. 

You hear a different beat. 

AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT.

I love your incessant movement, 

your boisterous chatter, 

your passion for life, 

your zest for adventure, 

your inability to quit, 

your desire to compete, 

your glorious hugs, 

your sweet kisses, 

your constant singing, 

and your two modes of living - 100mph or sleeping. 

I love you. 

Your blonde hair. Your blue eyes. Your wide smile.

You are beautiful.

Turning 3

I wish you had a better mommy. One who always remembered what a treasure and gift you are. One who understood what you need and when you need it.  I know sometimes it is hard for you to be our middle girl - sandwiched between and sometimes overlooked. But you are NOT overlooked. You are always loved.
You are loved to infinity and beyond.

You are loved because you are YOU.

Turning 4!

I don't want you to be your sisters. Or your friends. Or anybody else.  

I want you to be YOU - the you that is specially made to glorify God as only you can. 

There are people who may try to change who you are - steal your zest, your movement, your vivaciousness, your laughter - DON'T ever let them! Know that you have 5 people always in your corner loving you just the way you are.

I love you my jumpy girl.

Happy Birthday,

Mommy

Copyright 2011

I DID IT!!!

It wasn't pretty.

It wasn't easy.

It wasn't exceptionally fun.

But I did it anyway.

I experienced a moment of clarity around mile 6 -  

Hey! This is actually a good time! I'm totally AWESOME!

And then I experienced numerous moments of -

Hey. This....totally....hurts....I....didn't....train....enough. Why...is....that....Grandma....passing.....me??? 

I thought I would throw up. I was quite dizzy at mile 11.

I wanted to punch My Love in the face at mile 10...and 11....and 12....and 13. 

But that would have taken too much energy.

But I did it.
This past weekend I ran a half marathon - 13.1 miles.
I ran my FIRST half marathon - 13.1 miles - 3 years after I started running.
I ran my first half marathon - 13.1 miles - 3 years after I started running, 8 months after the birth of my 4th child.

 I did it in 2 hours and 27 minutes....and I am ridiculously proud of myself.

I am mama, see me run!

****I have pictures....they are supposed to be in this post....but my computer thingy won't communicate with my external hard drive thingy....this is why everything should just convert to Apple. Seriously.******
Copyright 2011

The WHY...

Well, if you didn't hear the big news...we are now a homeschooling family! Since my post regarding the decision only stated the decision and NOT the rationale, I thought you might want some insight into why we concluded home schooling would be the best fit for our family.

At least this year!

Disclaimer: I am NOT  saying we have made the right decision for all humanity.  This is the decision we have come to for OUR family - and these are our reasons why.  Home schooling is not for everyone - it wasn't for me last year!  These reasons hopefully will spark talks or thoughts - but they are not a judgement on someone who has chosen differently.

Whew.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to figure out a light-hearted, back-handed-funny way to outline our reasons. So this is gonna be a bit of a departure.. . bear with me!
There were numerous little reasons - but two primary issues that swayed us to the side of home schooling.

1. The pervasiveness of Post-modern thought.
Basically, the postmodern world view claims reality is not fixed or determined. There are no absolutes - there is no sure truth, because all things are relative to each individual's viewpoint or life experience. 

As a Christian family seeking to follow the Truth of the Bible - postmodernism is completely opposed to how we view the world. 

Being exposed to different things and other world views is definitely a good thing. 

However, we determined that 6 years old was a little young to have the majority of your time spent in a setting oppositely aligned with our stated family goals.

2. 40 hours a week is a lot of time
I know modern American culture thinks nothing of our young children going off to their "job" of school for 40 hours a week....plus homework. But it was just too much for us! We would miss her terribly. Being an active duty military family also played a role in the "time" issue - sometimes My Love is gone during breaks in school and home when school is in session. We want to capitalize on our time together, so the flexibility afforded by homeschooling is a huge benefit.

Some other reasons were logistical - 


3. Where to fit the extra-curricular stuff
It is very important to us that the beans have a solid foundation in music. So, where do we fit piano/music lessons in the schedule? And what about dance or sports? When do we get to have time together as a family? The tailored schedule of home schooling became both highly attractive, and made some of our other goals more feasible.

You put all those things together and we did not think we would be able to maintain the stability and consistency we would like with a traditional school setting. Home schooling should allow us the flexibility to move, travel with My Love, and participate in extra-curriculars that would have been impossible otherwise.

I say "should" because we haven't done it yet! 

I'll let you know how/if it actually worked. 

I guess that pretty much sums it up! Not funny. Not heart-wrenching. Just basic. 


And that's a wrap.


(Soon I'll write a post on the "how" and the "where" because those are the next questions I get!)  :)


Copyright 2011

My Dear Girl....

Dear String Bean,

6th birthday

Yesterday marked 6 years of being a mommy.

Your mommy. I had no idea when I first saw a plus sign (well, 5 plus signs) what amazing joy and exhausting hurt would come from this title and position.

33 weeks along

In these 6 years you have taught me so much more than I have taught you...

Because of you, I've learned what it means to fully rely on someone.

Because of you, I've learned that I don't know it all - by a long shot.

Because of you, I started to comprehend how little sleep a person really needs to function.

You've forced me to learn how to schedule.

I am better woman, a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend - because of you.

4th birthday

I LOVE YOU my little String Bean. I am so sorry for the hurts you have borne because of me.

5th birthday

Your tender heart has been bruised by my careless words.

5th birthday

I am full of regret for believing the lie that I could "over-hold" you as an infant. I wish I could go back and re-do those days and nights where I just desperately wanted a minute to myself.

You have always been treasured and loved! 

From the very first shock of your existence to this very second.

Happy 6th birthday to a girl I am fortunate enough to call daughter.

Love,

Your Mama

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