Monday, August 2, 2010

As Happy As A Pig In...

As Mommy for almost five years now - I've experienced my fair share of gross, nasty, and flat-disgusting  moments.  I've been pooped on - twice.  Puked on - countless times.  Peed on.  Spit-up on. Sneezed on in the face. I've fished poop out of the bathtub and cleaned up excessive amounts of throw-up. However, today takes the cake for a new level of yuck.

This morning Taylor slept I thought.  So when 9:15 rolled around and I finally had to go into her room to wake her - I was surprised when the sight of a happy smiling baby did not match the smell accosting my nose.  When I opened the door to her room I was hit with a stench so strong it immediately garnered gagging noises from Lena. (One who is not known for her subtlety.) Upon closer inspection, I discovered the happy baby bouncing in her crib had been very busy for however long she had been awake.
 Poop. Yes. Poop was smeared all over Taylor's body. She had somehow managed a blowout up the back of her diaper that stretched up to her shoulder blades AND covered the back of her diaper! On the outside. Completely.  She also somehow blew it out her thighs...and that was the primary supply area for her morning finger painting session.  Not only were her legs was smooshed between her toes...covering the bottoms of her feet...on her hands...on her CHIN...even her hair was standing up with the help of the most odiferous hair gel I've ever encountered.  On top of all that - there were little brown footprints covering the edges of the pale pink crib sheet and her two blankets.  Yet, was Taylor upset by the stinking filth she was surrounded by and covered in? Oh no!  She was happy as a pig.
Copyright 2010


  1. Sounds like Taylor's name should be changed to Stinky Bean!

  2. oh my! I have a friend who has a 2 1/2 year old and they went through several weeks of her doing this every single morning or naptime. She painted herself and the wall and the crib almost daily with her poop. Sometimes a little was even in her mouth. Luckily I haven't experienced it (yet!). Hope this was a one time occurrence and never happens again!!

  3. Oh brings back memories of when Moira was in a crib. . . . maybe that's why I quit using one after her?

  4. i am so disappointed that you didn't take a picture of it all and post it! really it would have added so much to this post! :)

  5. Oh my! Back in the middle of July when Matt and I traveled to Alabama on Jonathan's B-day... He also gave us one of those in the van... so He had much like Taylor including the hair but of course his does not stand up even with poop gel... but that was the worst diaper change, I have ever encountered and we had to smell that smell for the rest of our trip. Did I mention it was public for the gas station to see and smell? What a sight! The lady behind the counter saw me coming from a mile a way. She pointed as my hands around Jonathans poop waiste and his arms reached out as far as they could go to get him to the bathroom and not touching me. When I get in there, they do not have a diaper changer but a small sink and that's it. there are two stalls so I began with the rancid bath and rinced him with handsoap on the wall. It was so gross. this old lady covering her tiny nose under her nicely dressed suit waiting to wash her hands. By this time, I had poo on me, still all over him, the floor, my arms, hands, and the SINK. It took me a good five minutes and a few women leaving not waiting to wash their hands before I had the entire mess cleaned up... And Jonathan... smiling ear to ear. it was so much fun for him. God gives us these challenges to see how we will handle them;)

  6. Kinda agree with "Stinky Bean"!!!
    Someday you will laugh at that and it will even
    be a vague memory!!! Ah, those little babies make life interesting for sure!

  7. Teresa - I wish I had taken a picture too!! Unfortunately the camera was downstairs and I didn't want to give her the chance to get dirtier!
    Chasity - how awful!!! Your story wins. Hands down. (Kinda recurring theme I think.) :)
    Rosemary - I was laughing about it first thought was "Hooray!!! Now I have my blog post for the day!" ha!


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!