Cocoa Bean Moment....

My fears of sibling jealousy were allayed (for the moment) when I walked into the living room and found this....

Each of the girls had found a favorite book....

and sat down to read it to their brother.

String Bean chose "Mike Mulligan"...





Jumping Bean chose "Mouse about the House"...






and Bitty Bean chose "I Love You Through and Through."

Did it matter that Boy Bean was crying the whole time? 

Not to them. 

And the moment was sweet.

Copyright 2010

All that is gained....

....Does NOT like to be lost. 

Starting point: round 4

Seriously. What IS it about pregnancy weight-gain? I'm not asking for every-single-pound-gained to suddenly disappear when you deliver....but at least the amount the baby weighs to be lost - that would be nice. (Although the fully-disappearing-weight would be nice too!)

Before you say something like "your baby is not even 3 weeks old! What are you worried about?!" Hear me out....all the way out.

With Boy Bean I gained drastically less weight than I did with the other 3 pregnancies.

And I'm going to say the exact numbers because it really is relevant.  

With String Bean and Jumping Bean I gained 55 pounds each time. Fifty-five. 

String Bean in the pod

That whole "eat for two" idea? Well, I fully embraced it. 

Unfortunately, I didn't realize that most of the pregnancy, the other person you are eating for is not a pro-linebacker. . . they are actually smaller than a cantaloupe. 

Jumping Bean in the pod

Anyway. With Bitty Bean I gained 35 pounds...and I was very proud of myself!

Bitty Bean in the pod

Boy Bean in the pod

But with this man-child, I only gained 23 pounds...bear in mind he was 3 weeks early - so I was on target to gain exactly what I was supposed to. Lucky for me, Boy Bean didn't have me craving Hardee's thickburgers, bbq, and ice-cream, like the girls did....I just wanted LOTS of fruit. AND I really didn't have time to eat. So, that makes it a lot easier to not gain weight. I would actually make myself eat - even if I wasn't hungry - if the opportunity presented itself!

Now, I am not a person where the weight just melts away....I have had to work....very hard...to get it off.
With String Bean it took 14 months....I got pregnant one month later.
With Jumping Bean it took 12 months....I got pregnant one month later.
With Bitty Bean it took 6 months....we were shocked I didn't get pregnant until she was 10 months old!

So far, I have lost 8 pounds. Eight. When you consider the fact that my son weighed 6lbs 3oz and I lost (what felt like) 25 gallons of water....you would think it would tally up to a little more than eight. Apparently not.

So I have decided to chronicle my journey back to myself to (hopefully) encourage someone else out there who is struggling to find time to work out....or say "no" to the oh-so-tempting-food that should be directly applied to my stomach.

2.5 weeks post-Boy Bean

I tenderly call my post-baby tummy - which is where all of my fat goes - my "love-pot" because if the fat rolls on the side are "love-handles"....

Oh well. My body will have a break for the rest of the month and then I will get to start working out again. I have really really missed running and working out hard!

More on that shocking sentence another day....

I'd love to know how you manage your healthy weight!  

Copyright 2010

Now for something Completely Different....

Well, I am about to deviate from my normal topic-wheel-house....this is not about the military, My Love, My Beans, Motherhood, emotional upheaval, or cleaning. It is, however, very much about me. So, if you are ready for a very introspective post....read on.

This Wednesday, at church, I had a moment. You know, a moment where you really, really wish you hadn't shown up because the message was directly addressed to you?  And it wasn't all butterflies and rainbows. One section of verses Pastor Dave brought up caused me to have that moment.  And in an effort to be a fully-honest-blogger....I just have to share when I have a moment. (Thankfully, this is not a meltdown-in-the-middle-of-the-commissary moment, but it is a moment nonetheless)

Philippians 2:14-16

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 

I have actually heard - and read - these verses before....quite a few times. 

But I had not taken hold of them. 

Registered their full impact.

Do everything without complaining or arguing..... 

Everything really encompasses a LOT. From the easy - enjoying snuggle time with the Beans... to the hard - figuring how to "do life" after you've slept 5-interrupted-hours the night before.

Everything. 

That would include laundry. And dishes. And sweeping. 
And cleaning the bathrooms. And cleaning puke. And taking care of accidents. 
And dealing with a constantly changing schedule for My Love. And deployments. 
And not having the schedule go as planned. 
And being teamed up with people that are not-my-very-favorite. 

As I sat back and evaluated my conversations...both verbally to people, and mentally to myself....I realized I fall really, really, really short. I do A LOT with complaining and arguing. In fact, I am a very good pot-stirrer.

But here's the kicker. That whole non-complaining, not-pot-stirring, all-the-time business....is for a reason. And by being the opposite of those things (which is much closer to what I am) I am ignoring a key purpose of my life as a Christian.

...in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 

I want to run this race for a purpose. For Something. For Christ. But when I cave to that oh-so-natural desire for complaining, arguing, and pot-stirring....I am running backwards.

So this year, I am going to try to NOT run in vain. I want to be a woman known for NOT complaining, NOT arguing, and being a peace-maker.  It will be a challenge (as anyone who knows me can attest!) but I am going to try.

Because I'm God's girl....and I want to follow Him. In spite of my humanity.

 Copyright 2010

The see-saw of the Military...

Today is a sad day for thousands of people. 

Husbands, wives, children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, significant others, friends. 

While I just celebrated the wonderful homecoming of My Love just a few weeks ago...they are all saying goodbye. For months.

Knowing that things will change - events will be missed - milestones will be conquered - regardless of the absence of key loved ones. 

While I spent Christmas thrilled to sit next to My Love and comforted that he should be home for a long time (In military perspective!) ....they all snuggled up to their loved ones realizing the next special moment would be spent without them.

Add caption

Last picture as a family of 5

While I was relieved to know My Love would be home for the delivery of Boy Bean....there are people in recent weeks and months who have realized when their "plus sign" is born - they will be without their spouse.

Family of 6. Together. Silly. All is well.

Every countdown to a homecoming is someone else's countdown to a separation. Every joyful moment being reunited is tainted by thoughts of friends who are helping to pack a sea bag.

So, tonight, as I treasure My Love's company - I will know that there are many people acutely aware of an empty seat at their table.

To each of you - I know you can make it. It will be hard. It will be exhausting. You will be stretched and pushed to your limits. Every day you will have the opportunity to show people the strength that is required of those left behind - and I know you will do it beautifully. 

Because today, your countdown to homecoming has begun.

Copyright 2010

Dreamweaver...

So the fabulous combination of post-partum hormones and constantly interrupted sleep can really lead to some amazing dreams.

They are still not to the level of weird achieved during pregnancy....but pretty close

What?! I didn't write down for posterity my crazy pregnant dreams? 

Here's a quick rundown on the absolute-hands-down-oddest-dreams-I've-ever-had:

While pregnant with String Bean I dreamt I went to the car while in labor and delivered....a litter of kittens. Ugly ones. That was disturbing to me for a couple reasons:
1) I hold cats in utter contempt. I cannot stand them. Unless they are completely outdoor animals and keep the rodent population down....maybe. 
2) I had always assumed my offspring would at least achieve a "homely" status.
But for my daughter to be born an ugly version of an animal that I hold in disdain.....that was a hard one for me to swallow.

While pregnant with Jumping Bean I dreamed....bear in mind I was starving from the moment of a plus sign until delivery....I dreamed I delivered a chocolate bar. And then ate it.  All I have to say about that is we are already saving for her therapy.

While pregnant with Bitty Bean the crazy dream did not concern delivery. (Thankfully)  It instead involved the drive home from the hospital. In the dream she was safely loaded into her car seat and had a lovely pink blanket tucked around her..... then the car seat was set on the ground next to the car as we loaded everything else in.....and then we drove off. We just left our 3rd daughter in the parking lot of the hospital and went and had lunch.  

It seems food is a recurring theme of my dreams

However, my wild and wacky dreams while pregnant with the girls were NOTHING compared to what happened in my brain with the man-child. In the dream, we went to the hospital and I delivered Boy Bean....but he wasn't a baby....or a chocolate bar....or a litter of kittens....he was a fully-grown werewolf.  And as soon as the umbilical cord was cut, he turned to attack me. So, there I was, running down a main thoroughfare of the city....in my hospital gown....being chased by my newborn-werewolf-man-child.

Thankfully, in the past two weeks Boy Bean has not shown any signs of being anything other than 100% human. But I'm still keeping my running shoes handy.

Well, to be honest, now that I've actually written down those dreams....my post-partum one's are not even worth mentioning.....I mean, no one will need therapy from those! Although maybe I should see someone...

Copyright 2010

I'm ordering my Plexi glass....

Well, all those people who had sons first - or only - lied when they tried to prep me for changing a boy.

Boy Bean - dry and clean - for the moment

They LIED. 

It is utterly and completely different than changing a girl.

COMPLETELY. 

Maybe it is because I'm already familiar with the equipment and how to keep it clean on a girl....but I think there is a good bit more of a learning curve on changing a boy.

Girls puddle. Barely.

Boys?
They shoot like a fire hose.
All over the place.
With reckless abandon.
With no apparent concern for their cleanliness or the area around them or anybody within a 4 foot range.

"Just be sure you point it down." That pretty much sums up the words of advice given to me by veteran mama's of sons.  And that is just NOT all there is to it!

There is lifting and stretching and pulling involved.
There is a LOT of vaseline.
The requirement of a changing pad.
And maybe even a rain coat.

The other day while changing my Boy Bean I reached for a wipe and when I looked back at the little man's little man....it was shooting at his head. Thankfully he had JUST turned to the right - so nothing landed in his eye...but it was close. Then, the very next diaper change, he projected urine in a perfect arc over his body - off the diaper changing table - and against the wall. It left a 3 foot mark on the wall. And what did this veteran mama do? I squealed and laughed hysterically...while trying in vain to stop the explosion.

So, I'm learning how to embrace the shock, laundry, and flood plain that comes from learning how to change a boy....slowly. But I'm getting there!

Uh-oh... the Boy Bean just pooped....better go don my raincoat.

Copyright 2010

Water Birth...Sort of....

Another break from the blog has occurred over the past week. But I have a REALLY good reason...promise!

Boy Bean decided he wanted to arrive early. :)

Boy Bean on his birthday! 12/28/10

My water broke at 2:45pm on Monday, December 27th....and he was born at 8:02am on Tuesday, December 28th.  He is healthy and strong and absolutely perfect. Promise to write a detailed birth story soon....but at the moment I have to just chronicle the one utterly-hilarious-gross thing that happened during delivery.

If you get queasy easily...don't read this post.  REALLY. 

My Love and my Mom were there for the duration of labor and delivery as was my nurse Colleen - who actually delivered Bitty Bean! - those three were my support team and they were AWESOME! Anyway, my labor kicked in at 7:15am (after some pitocin) and then at 7:50 things were getting dicey. I was laying on my side with My Love at my middle holding my leg ready for delivery....I was gripping his arm and focusing very much on each contraction.  My Mom was at my feet - she was my support for my other leg - and Colleen was sitting on the end of the bed keeping tabs on everything...

My Nurse Colleen, Boy Bean, and Me

Then came an urge to push.


So I did. 

And water EXPLODED all OVER My Love, My Mom, and Colleen. It literally shot out. My Love's pants were drenched...My Mom had so much fluid running down her arm that it filled her glove and she had to replace it! She actually ended up having to change all of her clothes because of how wet she was!...Colleen was just very lucky she hadn't been checking me right then - her chest was wet, but none got on her face!

And then they all got the giggles.

My Love, My Mom, and Boy Bean

Thankfully, they didn't let the giggles blast out - I was in deep concentration since the Boy Bean was about to arrive - but after he was born it was quite a hilarious moment!

Boy Bean just moments old

So, while I ended up not being able to have the water birth I had hoped for - at least somebody still got wet!

Copyright 2010