Well, all those people who had sons first - or only - lied when they tried to prep me for changing a boy.
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| Boy Bean - dry and clean - for the moment |
They LIED.
COMPLETELY.
Maybe it is because I'm already familiar with the equipment and how to keep it clean on a girl....but I think there is a good bit more of a learning curve on changing a boy.
Girls puddle. Barely.
They shoot like a fire hose.
All over the place.
With reckless abandon.
With no apparent concern for their cleanliness or the area around them or anybody within a 4 foot range.
"Just be sure you point it down." That pretty much sums up the words of advice given to me by veteran mama's of sons. And that is just NOT all there is to it!
There is lifting and stretching and pulling involved.
There is a LOT of vaseline.
The requirement of a changing pad.
And maybe even a rain coat.
The other day while changing my Boy Bean I reached for a wipe and when I looked back at the little man's little man....it was shooting at his head. Thankfully he had JUST turned to the right - so nothing landed in his eye...but it was close. Then, the very next diaper change, he projected urine in a perfect arc over his body - off the diaper changing table - and against the wall. It left a 3 foot mark on the wall. And what did this veteran mama do? I squealed and laughed hysterically...while trying in vain to stop the explosion.
So, I'm learning how to embrace the shock, laundry, and flood plain that comes from learning how to change a boy....slowly. But I'm getting there!
Uh-oh... the Boy Bean just pooped....better go don my raincoat.
hahaha - yea, the point it down thing is NOT true... you've got to keep that thing COVERED! First lesson learned when we had the twins... and we had to make sure we each took a boy OR I changed one at a time!!
ReplyDeletecourse you could forget all that and don a poncho...
Speed! This was my only hope! Have everything prepped, ready and at my fingertips before removing the old diaper, and cover with a new one if it was going to take me more than .5 seconds in between tasks.
ReplyDeleteVery funny post! However, I must say I think it much harder going from boy to girl! Girls have little crevaces and secret places, that I constantly am worried if I got clean enough or if I may have missed something! For this reason, my husband to this day, will NOT change a dirty diaper on our girl, if I am at home. He is scared to death!
uh, hello, for the record, I TOLD YOU! Perhaps you thought it was a gross exaggeration, but now you know it was the solid truth. I was minutes away from buying something called a peepee teepee. Check them out online, pretty cool. Grey peed literally EVERY time you took his diaper off, and a few times, yes, right in his own face. I call this poetic justice:-)
ReplyDeleteOohhh hahahahahaha.... sorry as I giggle. Alex NEVER did this. I was all prepared though and did manage to always have a diaper in the free hand to go right over or a wash cloth if we had poos. Moira was my shooter. Golly the stories I could tell.
ReplyDeleteI would take the diaper down and let a blast of air hit him... then quickly covered him back up with the wet diaper until he was done. Oh, and I prepped with putting a fresh diaper under him first before undoing the soiled one. good luck and get an umbrella!!!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog from Teresa's, and oh my gosh, you are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeletethis post made me giggle! :)
ReplyDelete