Tuesday, January 22, 2013


#1 question this week:

"How are you doing with him gone?"

A valid question. An understandable one. And a pretty easy one to answer.

"Fine. (Really) We knew this was coming - we prepared - and now we are in it. The separating is never easy - but the I'm-in-charge-of-everything-all-by-my-big-girl-self? That part we have down to pretty smooth."

The first time apart - Basic Training, 2004 - was wicked, insane, horrible, hard.  I didn't have any tools in my arsenal to know what to do when my favorite person is far away and unable to communicate. (2 letters and two, 5 minute phone calls weren't much communication.)

The next time - tour of the Caribbean January 2005-April 2005 - was less awful. Although, I still was often battling against some huge, heavy, wall of dark that just wanted to immobilize me. I had to fight exceptionally hard to not spiral into deep spaces of sadness.

And I learned that it is okay to use paper plates sometimes. (Doing the dishes is overrated anyway.) Especially when you are in your first trimester with your first child, exhausted from throwing up, at a new job, and only know 2 people in the city and are all by yourself and it is sleeting and 33 degrees and the sun hasn't showed up for weeks and when you DO hear from your husband he's in a tropical, WARM, paradise.  But I digress.

But, honestly, each time it has gotten easier. Not because I love him less (quite the contrary!), but because I know better what to expect and how to handle things. I know there are rhythms and normal ups and downs that will happen every time.

Like organizing like a mad fiend. 

What? You don't see how that has to do with a separation??? Well, let me explain.
I like control. Or at least the idea that I have control over something.
Being married to a Navy man....and an aviator at that!....leaves me with diddly squat in the control department. So, I organize. When he leaves - always - I pick SOMETHING to work on. To improve. Not because I need to "keep myself busy," but because it makes me happy to be in charge of something.

This year, I'm going through my house. We've never lived anywhere this long - 3 years!!! - so I've actually never had the chance to organize and re-organize a home. I've always just been prepping for a move.   I've gone through the house and broken it down into zones to work on. I'll do one per month. (I also have a sedentary project for each month, just in case I lack get-up-and-go, or get ahead of schedule. HA!)


The Kitchen.  

 More on that....tomorrow. ;)

~Whitney Copyright 2013


  1. Love your post. Kind of helps me some too. If you get ahead of schedule, you can always help me organize. HAHA. Debbie W.

  2. Hmmmm
    We will be remodeling the kitchen in Feb while living here. It was many years ago since we lived in while demo/construction was happening. Any hints Miss Project lady? A. sara

    1. no hints at all. we've never really re-vamped a house....I'm no help for you!


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!