Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Parenting - Survivor style

Outwit - outplay - outlast

I know that is the tag line for the Survivor reality show....
but I'm pretty sure it was stolen from a parent.

Today (and yesterday) I've gotten to outlast my 2 1/2 year old ball of delightful/psychotic/insane/cuteness. My little Bitty Bean is just soooo cute with those big brown eyes and super long eyelashes.....I'm sure she could make it pretty far on an island.

At least until she didn't get her way 100%.

Then her head starts swiveling 360 degrees and she emits snot and tears and glass-shattering-screams at a shocking rate.

She would either be voted off immediately; or she would win, purely because everyone else would be to frightened to take the chance of angering her.

Unfortunately, I don't have the freedom to run away and hide from her fits.

So yesterday, I lost HOURS - literally - of my life, battling out her fits. And today, at Wal-mart,  we were also treated to a short fit...it was only 30 minutes.

When I say "fit" I mean what every parent hopes and prays to never experience. 
What every person (parent or not) is horrified to observe or imagine. 
The type of fit that is demonstrated only by the children of people who have no manners and are terribly rude and (most likely) have either done time in juvey or are un-charged miscreants. 

I have never done time.
I used to have a serious lead foot so I do have a license suspension that has (finally!) dropped off my record.
I say please and thank you.
I try very hard to not talk about poop excessively. 

 But somewhere along the way, my angelic little Bitty Bean turned to the dark side.

During these feats of extreme volume, effort, and stamina, I calmly look at her little face and tell her, "I will win. I am more stubborn than you can imagine being."

Screaming, flailing, snotting, and sobbing in public?  Fine. She can outwit me.

Calling for Daddy - at the top of her lungs - because (DEAD serious) "Daddy! DADDY! DADDY LOVES ME MORE!!"  Fine. She can outplay me.

Choosing nasty behavior with an obscene lack of self-control - involving yelling, kicking, wailing, and head swiveling for 1 hour?  Not on your life. I will not cave.

I will outlast you, child. 

Because you came by your stubborn nature quite honestly.


Copyright 2011

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