For those of you who don't know me well, here is a brief synopsis of what actually has happened in this particular life...
I do not have my bachelors degree...obviously the next levels of education have not occurred. I have 2 1/2 years (or so) of college completed - and have absolutely no idea when I will finish it off. I did, in fact, live in an apartment, work, and enjoy my freedom.... for 5 months. Then I met my hot stuff husband! Marriage suddenly became top priority - I wasn't gonna let a hottie like him get away!! So, just a few months after turning 21 - I became a wife. Then at 23 - baby #1 was born, 25 - baby #2, 27 - baby #3, and 28 will be baby #4! My life has been a bit different than I dreamed!
The amazing thing about youthful dreams is this - you don't always know yourself well enough to know what you really do want! (Some people do....I envy that!) But for the rest of us late bloomers, our dreams change as we age and learn more about life. Does that make the dreams bad? Or does that make reality bad? I would have to say NO - on both questions. Dreaming - hoping - about the future is something I still love to do....I've just learned that I'm probably waaaay off! My reality is nothing like I thought it would be... it is soooo much better! (And a ton more exhausting!) I wouldn't trade my sloppy baby kisses and dirty shoulders from toddler tears for any business suit or heels. Are there days I would like to sleep in? Yep. But every day is such a gift! I feel blessed beyond measure to get to live this life. Langston Hughes asked in "A Dream Deferred"
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
like a heavy load.
I'd like to venture that it doesn't do any of those options above... I think it can grow into something beautiful - even more wonderful than what the original dream was. Life doesn't have to be easy to be great - suffering allows you to realize the depth of joy possible in a life.
I can't wait to see what my dreams change into over the next 10 years....