Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dreams vs. Reality

Amid all the high school graduation parties this week, I was struck by the realization of 10 years passing since that event occurred for me! In the past 10 years my life has gone absolutely..... NOTHING like I thought it would. At all.  When I graduated high school I had full intentions of not only getting my bachelors degree in Communications, but continuing to get my Masters (and possibly a Doctorate!) in Speech Pathology.  I planned to live in a largish city, have my own apartment, work, and enjoy the freedom of being a 20 something single woman. Marriage was on the far horizon...maybe I'd have 2 children by the time I was 35. Or not.  I was happy to plan an unencumbered life not around a man or children and do whatever I wanted.  HA!
For those of you who don't know me well, here is a brief synopsis of what actually has happened in this particular life...
I do not have my bachelors degree...obviously the next levels of education have not occurred.  I have 2 1/2 years (or so) of college completed - and have absolutely no idea when I will finish it off.  I did, in fact, live in an apartment, work, and enjoy my freedom.... for 5 months.  Then I met my hot stuff husband!  Marriage suddenly became top priority - I wasn't gonna let a hottie like him get away!!  So, just a few months after turning 21 - I became a wife.  Then at 23 - baby #1 was born, 25 - baby #2, 27 - baby #3, and 28 will be baby #4!  My life has been a bit different than I dreamed!
The amazing thing about youthful dreams is this - you don't always know yourself well enough to know what you really do want!  (Some people do....I envy that!)  But for the rest of us late bloomers, our dreams change as we age and learn more about life.  Does that make the dreams bad?  Or does that make reality bad?  I would have to say NO - on both questions.  Dreaming - hoping - about the future is something I still love to do....I've just learned that I'm probably waaaay off!  My reality is nothing like I thought it would be... it is soooo much better!  (And a ton more exhausting!)  I wouldn't trade my sloppy baby kisses and dirty shoulders from toddler tears for any business suit or heels.  Are there days I would like to sleep in? Yep.  But every day is such a gift!  I feel blessed beyond measure to get to live this life.  Langston Hughes asked in "A Dream Deferred"

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

I'd like to venture that it doesn't do any of those options above... I think it can grow into something beautiful - even more wonderful than what the original dream was.  Life doesn't have to be easy to be great - suffering allows you to realize the depth of joy possible in a life.  

I can't wait to see what my dreams change into over the next 10 years....
Copyright 2010

1 comment:

  1. Love this... just left a rather long comment on your fb note... :P

    I'm about to message you about the blog design! :)


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!