Wednesday, April 24, 2013

"Fashion'y" stuff...

Well, I'm back at it. Posting pictures of what I wore and how I styled it because....I have no idea. 

But now that my hair is chopped all off, my style is evolving a bit. 
It is actually super fun to do stuff with this 'do! 
The chop has also upped my "funky factor." (So I'm told)
(I think it is also the fact that every single day that goes by, my children are older.)
I don't really think it has made me that much edgier...its just that the huge mop is no longer hiding stuff.

Like my double ear piercing on my left ear. Yes, I have two on only one side. On purpose. 
(And I have had that piercing since I turned 18!) 
And my nose piercing. 
(Which has actually been pierced since 2004.) 
Maybe piercings are just more expected with short hair? 
I have no idea.

Back to the whole "every single day, my children are getting older" idea.
First - motherhood is totally awesome. I mean, really. Fantastic. But it is also the hardest thing I've ever done. It is exhausting. Draining. Stretching. (In every possible way imaginable) But when you bring that screaming ball of human home with you...everything changes forever. Your title, the way the world views you, your responsibilities, your sleep patterns...everything. While that change is for a great cause and is wonderful; it is also hard. It's hard to remember who you are in all of that spit up, and poop, and feeding schedules, and laundry (OH, the LAUNDRY!). And when there are health complications - or self-induced back-to-back-to-back-to-back pregnancies - it can be extra hard to even catch glimpses of the YOU beyond Mama. 

I can't possibly be the only woman to struggle with all of those things. 
Because I look around at women who shower and get real clothes on and fix their hair everyday prior to having children...who suddenly stop caring as soon as a bean pops. Hear me clearly: For that first while....when you aren't sleeping, when your body is healing, when you are learning a new should totally chill. So, I'm not talking about the early bit. (By early bit, I mean roughly the first year, although it depends on the kid!) What I'm talking about is women who are so completely "mama" when their beans are older, they forget who they were before.

I did.
As I worked like crazy to find my healthy body, as I started to sleep again, as life in general just calmed down...I was able to rediscover who I was. 
Who I am is a wee bit crazy.
And not very good being all grown-up-y. 
I will happily discuss and talk about deep topics - but I also like to enjoy life and be silly.

I found that I was trying to be the "mom" picture that everyone said you should look like; and I'm just no good at that. But my children were specifically made with me to be their mama - so I want to be the Mama I am supposed to be.

And this mama likes to laugh. Heartily.
And wear bright colors.
And doesn't match socks. Ever.
And make everything an adventure.
And doesn't care if you want to dye your hair purple. 
(They do have to wait until they're 6)
And hash out the hard stuff of life with the beans - telling them when I don't know, instead of making up an answer.
And model a mama who loves life - with, because, even in spite of, her kids. 
(Because, some days? They are really total heathens.) 

Have you struggled to find your equilibrium in various phases?

Oh. I guess I'm supposed to say where I got my gear...
Headband - Urban Outfitters
Earrings - Target (clearance)
Shirt - Loft (clearance)
Tank - Old Navy
Jeans - Levi's (on sale)
~Whitney Copyright 2013


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