Wednesday, October 10, 2012

10 days...

10 days.

ONLY 10 days.

That is how long My Love has been gone so far. (He won't be home for a couple more weeks) In the grand scheme of life, it really isn't very long. With deployments lasting months on end - 10 days is not a big deal.

At all.


Sometimes, I need to step back and think about what goes on during our times apart. What crazy/normal life looks like. What I don't think of as a big deal.

Like, say, explosive poop.

I apologize in advance if you have a sensitive constitution. 
Please skip this entire post.
I also apologize to Jumping Bean. 
But it isn't stopping me from sharing.  :)

As we left My Love on the pier last week, the Beans and I sat in the car and let it sink in.
This is the year. It's our turn.
Our turn to say the goodbyes and experience the separations and learn how to do life without our favorite man around.
It is our turn for those things....because our friends will soon be saying "Welcome Home."
They will finally get to re-learn how to do life with all parts of the family present.
They will not have an empty place at birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, school programs, and church events over this next year - because they did it this year.
Since we see those goodbyes and families missing each other - the beans know what they are about to do. The car was a bit sad, String Bean was crying, and everyone was quiet.

But not for long.

Within 2 minutes of leaving My Love, Jumping Bean yells out from the back of the Swagger Wagon
Being the understanding Mommy I am, I said,
"Hold it. We just took you to the head at the boat. You can wait the 15 minutes till we get home."
Insert groans and painful squeaks from the back.
String Bean, always happy to help, inserted,
"Are you sure it is poop? I mean, I think it is easier to hold poop in and not so easy for pee."

At this point, I'm acting very mature, and snorting my laughter.  

Jumping Bean, writhing in pain, says,
"Oh. It is for SURE poop. It is gonna come out! It hurts so bad!"
Bitty Bean (always curious) queries in her-oh-so-extremely-cute-voice,
"Is it diarrhea? That doesn't feel good."

Suddenly, the screeching and squeals in the back stop. And Jumping Bean asks a loaded question:
"What does diarrhea feel like?"

In the interest of maintaining some sense of decorum on this blog - although I'm pretty sure that has never been present - I will save you the in-depth, highly descriptive answers that String Bean, Bitty Bean, and yes, even I, gave. Just trust they were very informative. I doubt Webster's does a more thorough job.  

The description left me crying from laughter. And it made me realize I should probably stop at friends house to allow Jumping Bean to use their toilet.

Wise, wise, decision.

So now, I can honestly say, moments after my husband left - the poop, (very narrowly missed) the van. 

Thank you for chuckling.

So much more has happened over the last 10 days....but I'm afraid it will just have to wait. :)

 Copyright 2012


  1. I was going along, doing very well, but when Bitty Bean jumped in with her comment, I LOST IT!!! I got a visual of you and your beans in the Swagger Wagon!!!! My hilarious laughter just started exploding and it was just what I needed even at this time of night!!! So happy that the poop didn't hit the van!!!!! LOL

    1. Well, Whit isn't the only one with a sense of humor! F U N N Y!

  2. I have had the privilege of having a poop explosion from one of your children while I was on the freeway. Finally I pulled over and waded waist high in the weeds to finish the job. It was too late! I was frantic about getting the diarrhea on the seats and trying not to laugh and embarrass the poor girl! It was definitely a memory!

    1. wasn't that the same child?! so sorry. but I love you even more for it!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!


Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!