I've determined that there is no need for me to ever become "cool," "hip," "modern," or "stylish." Maybe after my children are finished being easily-humiliated-teenagers....but definitely not before. They have made me bury my red face in my hands too many times to deserve an easy pass later in life. These children have an uncanny ability for public embarrassment...of their mother. Don't believe me??
Jumping Bean, aka Lena Marie: This particular offspring is in process of potty training (success for 1 week!!!) and is INORDINATELY proud of wearing her big girl panties. Potty training girls is much easier in a dress...sooo she is constantly lifting her dress over her head and wiggling her bum to show off her panties! Not such a bad thing at home. But at church??? In front of a large group of older men??? Seriously - who is responsible for this behavior?!
Jumping Bean, aka Lena Marie: The other day I was sitting on the floor and Lena sauntered right up to me, cocked her bum into my face, smacked it, (yes, SMACKED it!) and said, "Check this out" with a know-it-all slant to her head.
I said, "Check what out?"
Lena, exasperated, "Mommy! My Bum! Check it out."
I was trying - in vain - to stifle laughter, "Okay Beana, duly noted."
Lena, "It is a BE-A-U-TIFUL bum. God made it beautiful."
Where do these things come from?!
String Bean, aka Canaan Lee: This one has taken to asking the most difficult questions lately....(fun ones like....."Mommy, how did the new baby get in your belly?" I answered, "God was gracious and put baby there." Bullet dodged.)
Or yesterday she asked "Do people know when they will die"
"No, Canaan, no one knows when they will die"
"Well, then what is everyone waiting for? Everybody needs to ask Jesus into their heart right away!"
And then today she asked her vocabulary-loving-scientifically-challenged-mother, "Mommy, how does your brain tell your mouth what to say?" (Seriously!)
I gave the most basic explanation I could....and promised to ask one of the more knowledgable people at church to explain it to her. We asked. They answered - beautifully. Perfectly. Another bullet dodged.
String Bean, aka Canaan Lee: Last night we were at a friends house for a cookout and they have horses. Well, my girls are not well-acquainted with how to behave around a horse....and they chased a cat THROUGH the horse corral! Yes. That's right. My 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old ran into a horse's corral chasing a cat practically under the horse's nose! When I was able to steady my voice enough to explain why we don't do...anything they did....I said "Horses are big. If they get scared they could run over you or kick you. They are so big they could kill you!" (They needed a healthy dose of fear.)
Canaan looked at me with widest, most innocent eyes and said, "Oh! That would be wonderful! Then we could meet Jesus!"
Obviously, her understanding of Biblical things is maturing...her grasp of why Mommy is visibly aging, however, is nonexistent.
Thankfully, Taylor doesn't talk yet...but once it starts.....